Where Fat Comes From And How To Lose It For Good!

Friday, June 19, 2009 12:00
Posted in category Ask Rickhead
<div class=\"postavatar\">Where Fat Comes From And How To Lose It For Good!</div>

Post Written By Rick Doyle

Where Fat Comes From And How To Lose It For Good!

Dear Ask Rickhead:  I saw your article on hypnosis and the one on defining addiction.  Can you go into more detail when it comes to weight and eating problems?  How did I ever get so fat? Where does fat come from and how do I get rid of it? Are we as a nation getting fat because of addiction to food or is it something else?  I go up and down with every diet I try and I’m not thrilled at all with my results of any of them.  As I’m getting older it gets progressively harder to take off anything and it seems that the weight I have managed to lose comes back on faster each time.  How can I get a handle on this?


Dear Chubby:  First off, thank you for your honesty and the admission and we’ll see what we can do to address your questions.  First and foremost, where does fat come from?  In most cases, not where you would think it came from.  I’m going to answer this a little generic with regards to your nation question too.  As a retired addiction therapist and hypnotherapist most of the time I asked people the following questions and the answers never failed to stun people:

  • 1) What was the first ever stress in your life? (Careful, it’s a trick question)

Answer: Being born!  Have you ever heard of a single baby being born that came out laughing, after being snipped, wiped, probed, poked for blood and going from a nice warm 98.6 degrees to an inhospitable 70 degrees.  No! 

  • 2) What is the first pleasure you ever had?

Answer: Being fed! The way to a man’s heart…through his stomach and this is also true of babies and children (notice I said true, not good).  What stops the screaming baby is being fed either breast feeding or formula, whatever replaces the automatic feeding line called the umbilical cord that was just cut.

  • 3) How do babies communicate that they need something?

Answer: They usually cry. It is a babies way of notifying its parents or caretaker that room service had better be working, NOW! It’s the only way for a baby to say, “Excuse me, I have a present in my diaper for you.”  It is usually the best form of letting you knew that the baby is under stress.  Sometimes we pick up the baby, rock the baby, change the baby but in the beginning we tend to FEED the baby every 2 hours, 10-12 times a day! Hence you’ve got repeated stress and you have adults offsetting that stress 10-12 times a day with…food!  In some cases the parents get so good with this they learn to give the food a little early and a little larger quantity just to stay ahead of the curve.  Baby sleeps more and cries less when that need is met ahead of time so with a little more volume you get a little less volume.   

  • 4) What do most people get on their birthday?

Answer: Cake, sweets, ice cream

  • 5) What do children get when they scrape their knee or get injured?

Answer: Here honey, a cookie/ice cream/cake will make you feel better.

  • 6) What do children get when they get good grades?

Answer: Way to go! Let’s go celebrate with…food.  McDonalds, your favorite restaurant, ice cream, pizza, a favorite meal or snacks are used almost constantly to celebrate.

  • 7) What do we do to help a child cope with stress or loss?

Answer: We console with food. Here, this will make you feel better and will make the pain go away. Grandma died so that is why everyone is bringing over food.  It’s Thanksgiving or you lost the big game lets chow down. Good or bad, from childhood to adults we are trained to use food as a coping mechanism.

  • 8)Have you ever used or heard of anyone using comfort foods to cope during times of stress (good or bad stress) and either overeat or not eat enough?

Answer: Who hasn’t heard of break-up food or no appetite from a relationship  failure or finally being comfortable enough with someone that watching what you eat is not a problem.  You got married at 130 lbs. but 3 years later are at 185 lbs and when old friends see you for the first time since the wedding they don’t even recognize you.  Starve when you’re alone, stuff when you’re happy, this list is as confusing as International Currency trading.

  • 9) Why do you think that nearly every diet you go on works at first and takes off the pounds but then as soon as you stop the diet the weight is back on with vengeance?

Answer: Whatever you are familiar with you seek out. Whatever you practice you become good at.  Yo-yo dieting is the quick fix for symptoms, it’s not the long term answer. Most diets work to shed some fat and a few pounds and sometimes many pounds. However they are based on math, unfortunately you aren’t.  For example, if you eat 4,000 calories a day and your body only needs 2,000 calories a day you can expect a spare tire.  If you limit your intake to 1,200 calories a day then goodbye fat and extra waistline.  When you stop the diet without changing your metabolism through exercise and fail to address WHY you were eating 4,000 calories a day (the behaviors and issues that have years of practice) then it’s hello to that extra waistline again.  It all comes down to how much and why you eat.  Like any addiction 20 years of over eating at age 21 is still 20 years of habits, emotions and reflexes, automatically poor food choices and a host of other contributing factors like lack of exercise and poor nutrition must be addressed at the same time. Just changing the food choice is not going to undo the other 21 years worth of other problems combined. You’re addressing symptoms, not causes and conditions.  For some of you even at age 40, look at 40 years of the collective picture and it starts to make sense that 6 weeks or 6 months of dieting is not going to get the job done or if it does it at least explains why the extra pounds did not stay lost.

  • 10) Ask yourself if there are any deep seated issues that overeating is just a symptom? For example, sexual abuse, verbal abuse, social abuse, traumatic events, rape, incest, sudden death of significant loved ones where the pattern or repetition of using food to cope with feelings might have been the trigger that set the rolls rolling. (Two more articles I would recommend reading if deeper issues are a known problem are Shame, Guilt and Self-sabotage and Grief Recovery, How To Handle Loss.)  Did a lifestyle or life settings change such as a new home, school, job or other major change trigger a shut down or sense that you were out of control? For some people it can feel like the only thing in the world that they have control over is their food and so it is not uncommon to see people over or under eat. Did any of these kinds of things happen to you but while you adapted consciously your subconscious (which is 9 times stronger than the conscious mind) is still running the show using food as a coping strategy?

Answer:  If you’re wincing now or feeling gobsmacked as you read this you probably should be sharing these feelings and answers with a good therapist, preferably an addiction therapist or one that is credentialed in eating disorders.  5-20 lbs. especially as you get past 40 or 50 is a little bit of poor eating habits, combined with a little lethargy and a lack of exercise or you’re just getting older.  Significantly greater amounts or percentages such as 15-30 PERCENT over or under your recommended BMI (Body Mass Index ) weight may indicate a deeper issue or more chronic behaviors that have deeper roots and should be addressed professionally.  (Those of you who have not read our posts on Defining Addiction and Hypnosis The Myths vs the Facts as well as Choosing A Good Therapist might benefit from reading those articles also.)  Behavior modification is great to address some habits and problems but when you have 50-100 lbs. to lose you need to address the whole person.

Finally I’ll give you a few tips that I used to suggest to the subconscious when I did weight loss with hypnotherapy.  First, trying to convince a chocolate hound that they didn’t like chocolate is insane.  Your mind likes it and knows it. You can’t lie to the mind. However, if you know that you have a car that holds 20 gallons of gas you can’t put 25 gallons in.  It only needs 20 gallons. When the mind knows that it only needs X amount of calories and that it will run full on X there is no reason to put in more than X amount of food a day.  Another point, and one that really does a lot of harm to folks causing a lot of weight gain, is skipping meals (ESPECIALLY breakfast) or going too long between meals.  For example, you wouldn’t try to run you car with an empty gas tank so why would you try to run your body with no fuel?  Your body has been breathing, digesting, and burning fuel all night while you were sleeping so when you get up in the morning and skip breakfast or don’t eat within the first 20 to 40 minutes it retaliates. It has to conserve what fuel it has left (which is FAT) so it slows down and goes into starvation mode.  By the time you eat that heavy carb snack at midday or late lunch your body will come up with a way to offset this.  The way it offsets poor eating schedules and habits is by hanging onto calories from the next meal and slows the metabolism down a little.  The only way to reset or retune that metabolism is to exercise.  Next is water. Most people hate water and instead prefer to drink soda, alcohol, coffee, tea or practically anything but water. Weight can only flush out or sweat out.  You must drink water.  My weight loss folks were trained with the help of good hypnotherapy to drink 6-8 glasses of water a day. Giving the body enough water does wonders by flushing the fat, clearing the skin, gets rid of toxins and thousands of useless sugar laden calories a week. And a little known fact, ALL alcohol is 40 to 60% sugar (where do you think fermentation comes from?).  Light actually isn’t very light and one soda has 12 teaspoons of sugar in each can.  The number one thing that people cheat on their diets is alcohol. And those of you who quit drinking but pick up your smoking and those who quit smoking and pick up a bunch of weight, cigarettes are 40-60% ultra processed sugar.  And what happens when you take that sugar source away?  You will crave sugar and carbs like mad!  6-8 weeks of drinking water, NO sugar, NO artificial sweeteners (they all work on the brain chemistry JUST LIKE SUGAR), NO alcohol, no soda, NO sweets and the cravings will go away or be drastically reduced in as few as 2 weeks.  Remember, hypnotherapy with counseling is used to resolve the underlying issues and assist with behavior modification.  It’s not a cure all but combined with reinforcement tapes and one on one therapy for a sufficient time can have as much as a 90% success rate with the right qualified therapist.  Exercise is the extra boost that will take you from losing to winning long term. 

Chubby, I hope I’ve answered your questions as to where fat comes from, how you may have gotten fat and what might help you get rid of the fat because you sound like you are willing to work hard to lose the weight.  I hope that because you want to change at the core and not just address the symptoms you will pursue the help necessary to manage your weight with those issues resolved in therapy or other tools.   I hope that soon you’ll be switching your nickname from Chubby to Slender!  Slow and steady weight loss will last, fast weight loss is NOT good! Most of these tips have proven to be good over many years to take off the weight for good rather than appealing to short term gratification of losing a little weight fast and then putting it right back on plus 5.  As always my door is open and we welcome anyone’s questions and comments so please share your experiences here.

To Ask Rickhead a question, please email: askrickhead [at] topicisland [dot] com





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11 Responses to “Where Fat Comes From And How To Lose It For Good!”

  1. Vince Killpack says:

    June 29th, 2010 at 6:26 am

    how can somebody achieve so much and nevertheless not understand how google works?

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