How To Annoy The Opposite Sex

Tuesday, March 24, 2009 1:00
Posted in category Couples
<div class=\"postavatar\">How To Annoy The Opposite Sex</div>

Post written by Rick Doyle and Dave Coleman (See Relationships page for author information)

 

HOW TO ANNOY THE OPPOSITE SEX

Why is it that there is never enough time to do things right in the first place, but always enough time to do them over?  Why is it so much harder to lose weight than to gain it?  Why is it so much easier to spend money than it is to make it?  Why is it easier to ask for forgiveness than permission? These are just a few of life’s most perplexing questions -questions that we regularly ponder.  Want one more?  Why is it so much harder to impress men and women who interest us than it is to annoy them?

From loyal followers of our columns nationwide, or those who visit our web site, we receive hundreds of letters every week indicating how annoyed people are with the thoughts and actions of the other sex.  Men are annoyed with women.  Women are annoyed with men.   They don’t know how to communicate or change one another and are simply sick of trying. 

 

Well, we decided that if people are committed to annoying one another, they might as well be proficient at it!  So here are some of the simplest ways to get under the skin of the other sex:

WAYS FOR WOMEN TO ANNOY MEN:

1. Don’t say what you mean – ever.  Assume that men are clairvoyant.

2. Be as ambiguous as possible.  Master the phrase, “Oh, you know.”

3. Cry.  Cry often.  Tell the man it is his fault and that he should fully understand why you are crying as he caused it.

4. Dredge up things that were said or done weeks, months or years ago and bring them back up during every subsequent disagreement.

5. Constantly ask men loaded question such as:  “Do you think I look fat in this?” “What are you plans for tomorrow?”  “Do you think she’s pretty?”

6. Complain about how much men watch sports.  Make sure to talk incessantly during a close game and ask irrelevant questions during the zenith of the contest. 

7. Hide the remote control to their television set.  Pretend that it is just lost.

8. Blame everything on PMS (and his lack of feeling on what you’re going through!)

9. Make them guess what you want and then get mad at them when they are wrong.

10. Over-analyze everything he says or does and then for good measure analyze everything one more time.   

WAYS FOR MEN TO ANNOY WOMEN

1. Don’t call back – ever.  Make sure that you told her you would.

2. Become an accomplished liar.  Master the phrase, “Of course I love you too.”

3. Never ask for help, especially when you really need it.  Ditto for directions when   you’re lost.

4. Talk about yourself often and remember, “The older you get, the better you were!”

5. Scratch, spit, belch and adjust yourself in public. Be proud of your abilities.

6. When on a date, never fail to point out all the other attractive women who are present and exactly why you find them desirable.

7. When a woman is venting or disclosing a problem she has, always offer a simplistic, immediate answer or solution.  Leave any shred of emotion out of your answer.

8. Memorize the following . . . “It’s me, it really is, it’s not you.”  “I really just want to be friends.”  “You’re like a sister to me.”

9. Naturally, forget anniversaries, birthdays and other special occasions.

10. Remember that you’re a man.  Therefore, no matter what, it wasn’t your fault.

It should be noted that the solution to good communication and a successful (long) life will lay in your ability to NOT engage in the aforementioned behaviors.  The exception being when it comes to pesky relatives and pushy sales people.

*Special thank you for co-writing this article goes to Dave Coleman AKA The Dating Doctor. Dave and I wrote Date Smart! back in Jan.  2000. The publication rights have now reverted over to us equally and, with Dave’s permission, I have edited the book and modernized some of the ideas we originally wrote.  The book, Date Smart!, is still available through some stores and you can contact Random House to request the book be reprinted.  With enough demand they might just contact Dave and I to republish and possibly write another one.  We are basically giving you the book to read in posts and encourage you to visit both Dave’s website www.datingdoctor.com and of course all parts of our website www.topicisland.com. Neither the posts nor the book are in any way to be republished or sold or used without our express specific written permission and all posts are copyrighted and protected (ISBN-10: 0761521739,ISBN-13: 978-0761521730). Dave and I have written a number of articles together as well and so this serves as the byline.  A huge thank you to Dave for sharing both our efforts and time to write what we hope are insightful, intriguing and informative articles that we share the creative collaboration and credit for working on over a number of years.

You can contact Rick by posting or by emailing askrickhead [at] topicisland [dot] com or read posts at Ask Rickhead

or

you can write Dave at: http://www.datingdoctor.com/contact.html

 

 

 

 

 

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11 Responses to “How To Annoy The Opposite Sex”

  1. Bennie Tuder says:

    July 15th, 2010 at 11:32 am

    I very much enjoyed your blog. Excellent content. Please keep posting such awesome cotent.

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