50 Common Broken Pickers, Date Smart! Chapter 2.6

Monday, June 1, 2009 12:00
Posted in category Date Smart
<div class=\"postavatar\">50 Common Broken Pickers, Date Smart! Chapter 2.6</div>

Post written by Rick Doyle and Dave Coleman (See Relationships page for author information)

50 Common Broken Pickers

Date Smart! Chapter 2.6

Below is a list of 50 Common ‘Broken Pickers’. Don’t be surprised to find you’ve dated more than one category type. It’s important to understand that while each broken picker is unique, many of them share qualities that are common to your patterns of behavior. We call this Brand Loyal Bad Picking, which means you repeat poor selections based upon an acquired taste or familiarity.

50 Common Broken Pickers

1.  The Panhandler:  You have a tendency to pick someone who is overly needy. They take regularly and give sparingly.

2.  The Pinocchio:  You have a tendency to pick others who have a very difficult time telling the truth.

3.  The Girdle:  You have a tendency to pick someone who strives to control you and all aspects of the relationship.

4.  The Raging Bull:  You have a tendency to pick someone who is possessive, jealous, and prone to outbursts of violence.

5.  The Joker: You have a tendency to pick someone who turns everything into a joke. They feign laughter in an attempt to avoid the truth or a confrontation.

6.  The Friend: You have a tendency to pick someone who is there when you need them; who is willing to listen to whatever you have to say; who rarely judges or places pressure on you; but who will never give you a passionate commitment or the type of relationship you desire. You may receive an occasional ‘peck’ or hug.

7.  The Lay Away:  You have a tendency to pick someone who only serves to keep you off the market. You become close friends, have many things in common, but lack passion. You won’t cross the line into any type of physical relationship. But those around you believe you’re an item when you’re really not, which can keep you from meeting an available person.

8.  The Stepping Stone:  You have a tendency to use people as a means to an end. They’re not the person you’re interested in, but you believe that by dating them you’ll get closer to the person you desire. 

9.  The Project: You have a tendency to pick someone who needs to be “fixed” in order to be right for you. They have potential and could be molded into the perfect person if that one major character flaw could be changed. You believe you are just the person to do make that happen.

10. The Couch Potato: You have a tendency to pick someone whose idea of a big date is another rented movie or the latest game on the tube.

11. The 100 Yard Dash: You have a tendency to pick someone who wants an immediate commitment. They move at the speed of sound and are intensity junkies.

12. The Gold Digger: You have a tendency to pick someone who has large amounts of expendable cash available, but little else.

13. The Tease: You have a tendency to pick someone who lets you look, ogle, spoil, pay and enjoy their company. But they don’t enjoy yours in return. You’re simply a way for them to pass time and get things they want. You might pay, but you’re never going to play!

14. The Analyzer: You have a tendency to pick someone who questions your relationship to death. “Why did you say that?” “What did you mean?” “How do you feel about that?” “Why?” “Why not?” In their attempt to get close to you, they push you farther away.

15. The Whiner:  You have a tendency to pick someone who is never satisfied or content. They are constantly complaining about the miserable state of their life.

16. The Hot Potato:  You have a tendency to pick someone who is gorgeous, handsome, or sexy but has no intention of settling down, especially with you. They seldom stay with any person for long. In their mind, they’re too hot to handle.

17. The Dog Catcher:  You have a tendency to pick someone who flees at the first sign of commitment or if they sense a leash is about to limit their freedom.

18. The Mugger: You have a tendency to pick someone who constantly makes some type of physical contact. They may grab elbows, hold hands, or put their arm around you. They thrive on P.D.A. (Public Displays of Affection), the more visible the better.

19. Mr./Ms. Freeze:  You have a tendency to pick someone who is as cold as ice. No matter what you do, you can’t elicit an emotional response from them. They make great morticians. 

20. The Archivist:  You have a tendency to pick someone who is constantly keeping a running tally of who’s done what and who owes what. They thrive on gift-giving, but expect them in return, and can easily turn into the Martyr.

21. The Milkman: You have a tendency to pick someone who won’t buy the cow because they’re milking it for free. A shallow individual who is using you simply to satisfy their sexual, financial, or emotional needs. As long as they continue to have their needs met quickly and easily, they’ll never fully invest in the relationship because they get what they want anyway. You’re giving it up too easily. Remember, when the milk is free some people become lactose intolerant.

22. The Doberman: You have a tendency to pick someone who is ferocious, hostile, aggressive, powerful, dominant, and confident on the outside, but insecure on the inside. They over-compensate for a damaged sense of self.

23. M.A.S.H.:  You have a tendency to pick the walking wounded. You want to personally nurse them back to health, but it’s like putting a band-aid on an amputation.

24. Narcissus: You have a tendency to pick someone who is already committed to and madly in love with someone else – themselves! 

25. The Taxi Driver: You have a tendency to pick someone who is constantly watching the meter as if it were running. They make it perfectly clear that they have limited time to spend with you and you should be grateful for any that you’re given.

26. The Converter: You have a tendency to pick someone of an opposing or different spiritual belief system than your own. You fall for them knowing that this issue will cause significant problems in the future – and it does.

27. The Leech: You have a tendency to pick someone who requires constant validation of how wonderful, important, needed, and special they are. As a result, they suck all the life out of you.

28. The Fox Hunt: You have a tendency to pick someone who loves the thrill of the chase but once it’s over, has no desire for you at all. Once the trophy is on their mantle or the notch on their belt, they’re gone.

29. The Architect: You have a tendency to pick someone who has his or her life diagrammed like the blueprint for a building. They manipulate every aspect to fit their grand scheme.

30. The Bird Watcher: You have a tendency to pick someone who pays attention to everyone BUT you. They’ll even tell you how beautiful another bird looks or how sweet they sound, to get your opinion and make sure you noticed.

31. Mr./Ms. Nice Guy/Gal: You have a tendency to pick someone who is mannerly and pleasant to be around. They’re devoid of romance, have few social skills, and little confidence. But your fear of confrontation and sense of guilt is greater than your willingness to end the relationship.

32. The Broken Tee: You have a tendency to pick someone who looks great at the beginning, but snaps under pressure. . .never to be seen or be useful again.

33. Ebony and Ivory: You have a tendency to pick someone who views life and relationships in black and white. “It’s my way or the highway.” They have no color. No spice. No variety. They show no compromise or initiative. “Yes” or “no” are the most in-depth answers they’ll give, with an occasional, “whatever.”

34. The Magician: You have a tendency to pick someone who simply disappears without a trace. They vanish from your life into thin air. No call. No reason. No closure. Just poof . . .only to resurface in the future as if nothing happened.

35. Bull in the China Shop: You have a tendency to pick someone who doesn’t or can’t adapt to social situations. You’re embarrassed to be around them and can’t clean them up to take them places. They talk loud in movie theaters to ensure that the audience is aware of they think will happen next.

36. The Bell Hop: You have a tendency to pick someone who comes with so much baggage that you spend most of the time as their therapist. By the time the relationship ends, their dysfunction has rubbed off on you.

37. The Dishrag: You have a tendency to pick someone who only uses you if and when they need you.

38. Daddy’s Little …: You have a tendency to pick someone who is warm, safe, comfortable and childlike. It gives you someone to care for who cannot care for you equally in return.  The relationship is devoid of passion.

39. The Rose: You have a tendency to pick someone who is aesthetically pleasing, smells great, and is a joy to be around at first sight. But once you get too close, you feel the “prick” of their thorns.

40. The Ken or Barbie: You have a tendency to pick someone who looks great on the outside but is shallow, or even hollow, on the inside.

41. The Fire Hydrant: You have a tendency to pick someone who is always there when you need relief. They expect to be treated poorly, placing you in complete control. You won’t see them change or complain. They just take what you dish at them and like it.

42. The Jackal: You have a tendency to pick someone who feeds on you when you’re down, broken, and wounded. They stick around until there’s nothing left.

43. The Rabbit:  You have a tendency to pick someone who is so busy hopping from person to person, that they’re unable or unwilling to make a commitment to you.

44. Ms./ Mr. Perfect:  You have a tendency to pick someone who exploits your weaknesses.  They revel in imperfections such as: appearance, weight, and intelligence, and never miss an opportunity to indicate what’s wrong with you and right with them.

45. The Ultimator: You have a tendency to pick someone who forces the issue, making you feel responsible for the demise of the relationship if his or her conditions aren’t met.

46. The Purse Strings: You have a tendency to pick someone who is controlled and manipulated by their family and their wealth. Their chief concern is what their family and friends will think about you.

47. The Ferrari:  You have a tendency to pick someone who is extremely high maintenance. They look great on your arm, but you have to pay to play.

48. The Biker Wannabe: You have a tendency to pick someone who is an executive by day and bad boy or girl wannabe by night. They attempt to buy self-esteem and an alter-ego.

49. The Affair: You have a tendency to pick someone who is already married to someone else.  Heartbreak is evident; the challenge feels great; the results are devastating on both sides.                                                       

50. The Crush: You have a tendency to pick someone who fulfills the cliché love at first sight. They are the end all – be all. They’re perfect – your ultimate fantasy – but they simply don’t know you exist.

As you begin to address your motives for dating, your behavioral shortcomings, the characteristics of those you’ve picked in the past, and the patterns of behavior you repeat, you’ll begin to see that it wasn’t just bad luck or coincidence that led to your misconnections with others. Resolving these issues requires a multi-level and in-depth understanding of who you are. With each exercise you completed – in this chapter and those that follow – you’ll gain substantial personal knowledge that will empower you to break the pattern of revolving-door relationships. Next week we start chapter 3.1.

Please come back each week as we will post the next piece of each chapter broken down into posts that you can comment on, ask questions or share your thoughts. We will eventually update and post the whole book Date Smart!

*Special thanks for co-writing this article goes to Dave Coleman aka The Dating Doctor. Dave and I wrote Date Smart! back in Jan. 2000. The publication rights have now reverted over to us equally and, with Dave’s permission, I have edited the book and modernized some of the ideas we originally wrote. The book, Date Smart! is still available through some stores and you can contact Random House to request the book be reprinted. With enough demand they might just contact Dave and I to republish and possibly write another one. We are basically giving you the book to read in posts and encourage you to visit both Dave’s website www.datingdoctor.com and of course all parts of our website www.topicisland.com. Neither the posts nor the book are in any way to be republished or sold or used without our express specific written permission and all posts are copyrighted and protected (ISBN-10: 0761521739, ISBN-13: 978-0761521730). Dave and I have written a number of articles together as well and so this serves as the byline. A huge thank you to Dave for sharing both our efforts and time to write what we hope are insightful, intriguing and informative articles that we share the creative collaboration and credit for working on over a number of years.

You can contact Rick by posting or by emailing:

askrickhead [at] topicisland [dot] com or read posts at Ask Rickhead

You can write Dave at: http://www.datingdoctor.com/contact.html

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