Male Bashing, Practice Makes Permanent

Tuesday, March 24, 2009 2:00
Posted in category Divorce
<div class=\"postavatar\">Male Bashing, Practice Makes Permanent</div>

Post written by Rick Doyle

Male Bashing, Practice Makes Permanent

Women do it all the time and many have become quite accomplished at it.  Men do it too, but for whatever reason we are unsure.  Comics and comediennes base entire routines around it while television and movie scripts are laden with innuendo.  Magazines and newspapers chime right in so as not to be left out. It has become chic and we simply don’t understand why. the more you practice male bashing the permanent the damage.  Once a loser always a loser, hmmm? Just like 60’s clothing everything old is new again. When did it become fashionable, justifiable and politically correct to bash men? We wonder why the divorce rate is pushing 50%, lets look at one more reason.

Take this bit of humor we received over the Internet yesterday as an example.  A family went to a hospital, where one of their relatives would be having a brain transplant. One of the relatives asked, “What will the cost of a new brain be?” The doctor replied, “A female brain costs $25,000 and a male brain costs $50,000.” The men smirked, but one of the ladies asked, “Why is the female brain so much cheaper?” “Well,” the doctor replied,” the female brain is less because it has been used.”

People have become so proficient at male bashing that many are proud of their achievements.  “Yo momma” jokes have given way to “my man is so stupid . . .” routines.    It is the mans fault says the divorce lawyer. Its the womans fault says the other divorce lawyer.  This mentality has evolved into a self-fulfilling prophecy for both sexes.  The more men hear how inadequate they are, the more they begin to believe it themselves. The expected behavior is surely to follow which reinforces what women think.  If women believe that MEN are losers, then why should MEN go to the effort to prove them wrong?  It is so much easier to fit right in.

An unhealthy attitude has permeated our society. How can men be expected to exhibit respect for women and relationships when they don’t respect themselves?  Men have been brow beaten for so long that they have developed learned helplessness.  It is better to have avoided women entirely than to have attempted to please them and failed.  Loneliness beats inadequacy.  As a result, women shake their heads and wonder why they haven’t been asked out in six months. What we practice we get good at and those divorced for the 3rd or 4th time should realize that the cycle is likely to repeat itself and permanent bad picking might be the end result. Each failed marriage, relationship and subsequent hard feelings towards men modeled and proclaimed in front of children, male and female, we make the cycle of male bashing an acceptable permanent and viable way to vent about failed relationships being, the other guys fault. Where does responsibility and practicing tolerance, acceptance and patience come in to play?  When will divorce rates come down because people pass on solutions instead of insults?  What behaviors do you practice that you are passing along to the next generation that make male bashing okay? Picking on men may be hurting us all.

Women have been expressing how abominable men are for so long that they have begun to embrace their findings as fact.  Upon a first meeting, women analyze men looking for that initial faux pas to verify that he is like all the rest.  Women proclaim prior to a date, “I know he’ll eventually turn out to be a cheater or loser, but I’ll enjoy myself while I can.”  No wonder men feel destined to fail. While men are supposed to be more stoic and “take it like a man”, inside they are hurting but are trained not to show it.  Remeber, big boys don’t cry!

Today, you seldom hear men speak in a derogatory manner at the expense of women.  If they do, other men quickly put them in their place.   Once, it was en vogue for comedians, television, and movies to bash women.  It monopolized every headline and monologue.  (Well maybe with the exception of Sarah Palin and Janet Napolitano).  No more, and rightfully so.  The equal rights movement, harassment policies, common sense and education have combined to correct the problem.  The same must now happen for men. NOW is the National Organization for Women, NOM needs to get on board too.  Not gonna happen, men will gladly tell you, “there is no problem here”, while driving around lost for hours and refusing to stop and ask anyone for directions, no matter how long they’re lost.

Men are human and make mistakes, but we can learn and grow. Ladies, if a man exhibits a behavior that pleases you, take a hint from Pavlov and acknowledge his effort.   Indicate your appreciation.  Conversely, if he exhibits a behavior you find offensive or unacceptable let him know.  Be specific and immediate.  He’ll hear you loud and clear.  If he doesn’t, he’ll experience loneliness.  But at least he will know how and why he has failed all on his own. We all need our kudos and we all need a little direction. We will all definitely be winners with a little more gender kindness and patience.  We did not get here overnight and as the dress code of the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s keep coming back I suspect that male bashing might have a few more rounds left in it too. We can’t help ourselves, sometimes dumb just feels real good, I mean natural. Okay permanent. As my mom always said, “never send a man to do a boys job”.  Ah you can relate! See what I mean?

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