Topic Island

Post written by Rick Doyle

On a Man Hunt, When Gold Digging, Do Not Look for a Steal

Ladies and gentlemen we are cruising today at about basement height looking for a mutual use.  When men are the victim of gold digging they not only get what they deserve but the gold digger gets what she deserves too.  By our base nature women instinctively look for a strong provider.  Men instinctively look.  It is their nature to provide for and protect.  John Grey had it pegged with his book, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”.  We all need money, security and to feel safe but how we go about filling our bank accounts is another matter.  Inevitably the bank that goes bankrupt has always been short and can’t cover its debts or accountholders and therefore goes bust.  The high interest yields nothing of value and the only steal here might be those years of wasted time stolen on a lost cause that was a divorce or sad break up from day one.  Don’t look for a relationship or money to make you happy!

What is gold digging?  Is it when you are looking for someone else to pay your way?  What does it cost to dig for gold?   How can you steal what is freely given?  How can you say she loves you when it’s not you she is there for?  What is the prize or was it worth it?  Can this man or woman be worth the price they pay?  Let’s break some of this down and analyze the cost and the rewards.

I would venture to say that everyone who reads this can think of at least one gold digging person.  We all know someone, male or female, who is out to find “a keeper” meaning some rich or loaded idiot who will spoil them rotten and get them everything they want. (Or thinks they deserve).  Like a shark circling for prey they patrol the bars, clubs, parties, wherever they smell blood.  They have a trademark look; hot, sexy, together, EXPENSIVE, occasionally sleazy, usually easy and always with a dash of need. They come in all shapes and sizes and are usually young.  No whales. No minnows. They have no qualms about swimming in the marriage pool, meaning those that might already be taken or married.  Why work for one when you can steal one? They are not interested in the target, just the wallet. They have excellent teeth and usually like to chew their meal rather than swallow it whole.  They are very used to the buffet line and don’t like to order off the menu unless it is first class and very expensive.  Why order the hamburger when you can get the filet mignon?  It is a game to play with their food.  It involves seeing what they can get for the least amount of effort.  Sometimes even though they really want the steak they will refrain and will patiently dangle the bait to hook their meal.  Gold digging is an art form.  They know no one says, “Hey, I think I’ll go play with the sharks and by the way here is my bank account numbers”.  They are also masters of disguise and will dress (at your expense) to suit whatever style makes you happy.  They are perfect at blending, have excellent conversation skills and they are happy to do anything for you and with you.  You trust the beast with the big teeth because they promise not to bite.  You left your IQ at the door because you are captivated.  Down boy, it’s just silicone!  Don’t forget for a second that it’s a shark, a killing machine without remorse or pity and it will eat you and spit out what it can’t digest.

Now for the male victim, the man who secretly wonders to himself, “What in the world does SHE see in ME?”  He must have a few things for the gold digger to be interested in him.  He must have money and a lot of it.  He must be available by design or temptation.  He must be either naïve or a little low in the self esteem department.  Of course he can be old and lonely or young and dumb, married and unhappy, sad and single or any combination of thereof.  He will want the babe on his arm and consciously or subconsciously be willing to pay the price, because he thinks she is worth it. He will understand she is special and has needs and expenses that it would be only right or expected that he pay for since she is at level b or c and he is at level s or t.  He may be fresh from divorce or heading to one but he doesn’t care because she makes him forget it all or feel like he is on top of the world.  His friends warn him about her but he blows them off. He wants to show her off, look I caught a beautiful shark and it is still alive and well.  Family might also warn him, especially if there is a 20 year (or more) age difference. He doesn’t listen, doesn’t want to hear that he is the one on the hook and that his prize fish actually caught him.  He is in deep water way over his head.  He has a trophy and since he wasn’t thinking when he said “I do” in many states he just said “I do (promise to give you half)”.  I think you realize at this point dude is done and not getting out of this without some serious bite marks, scars and fees.

The Wedding invitation that reads more like a funeral announcement

Some guys have so much money they don’t care.  This is the shark, hunting the shark.  This is a pre-nup and a divorce with a side order of the teeth back that have just been kicked out of your mouth.

Then there is the biggest and baddest hunter known to exist, the Killer Whale.  The whale that eats sharks!  He looks and preys usually on younger women, women he can impress, women he can (or thinks he can) control, women who think they have a sugar daddy but don’t realize they’re just another fish in the sea.  He is a divorceaholic.  He has been married many times.  All of his ex’s despise him and they are not shy about telling anyone who will listen. He refers to his ex’s as that bi**h and usually buys off his kids with expensive gifts and never spends time with them.  He has an arrogance and a swagger that makes you wonder how a nice girl would ever want to date such a man in the first place.  He buys and baits his prey, while they think they are the one getting the deal, he is really just shopping for a disposable relationship.  He has never looked at the gold digging girl as anything more than a short term investment in what he wants.  He has a player card that looks like a draft card and may be as long as his arm.  He sees the gold digger as replaceable and treats her accordingly.  He may still be married and wants to have a meal on the side.  He’s a much more powerful animal than the shark and can close the deal anytime he wants with a swipe of the credit card he doesn’t care about the costs or the divorce fees.

You might think that you will be the one to break the beast.  You might even think that a real man hunt is just for sport, coyote or cougar hunting for example.  But like all hunters you must be prepared for the hunt.  You must come equipped.  This is the typically the fatal flaw that leads all roads to stolen youth, wasted money, lost time, hard feelings, dead end relationships and divorce.  And don’t forget there’s the possibility that your weapons fail and thus the hunter becomes nothing more than a leftover.  You see, gravity, wrinkles, age, reduced bank accounts and all the tools you used to hook the big one eventually go south.  There are lots of ways to fight it but shallow and superficial do not make a good partnership.  You can steal a husband, money, even a little time with surgery or Viagra but you can’t steal, love, respect, intimacy, passion and commitment which are the keys to a long term loving relationship. A trophy is only shiny as long as you polish it.  At the end of the day is it just cheap hollow gold plate or is it good solid gold?  I’m NOT saying a wealthy man and a beautiful woman can’t have a successful relationship. What I am saying is if the relationship is based solely on those conditions, then chances are it’s a disposable relationship and will end up with a divorce or replacement.  A relationship has to be cared for and have love, respect, intimacy, passion and commitment at its core.  If it has these things then most likely it will outlast the bank or the bankruptcy and even gravity.

On a final note remember that the flame that burns brightest also fizzles out the quickest.  All that glitters is not gold.  It’s just money.  Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?  All these clichés ring true for a reason.  As Rita Davenport once said “if money can fix it, it ain’t a problem”.  When all the stuff or tools are gone make sure you have something worth investing in…each other.