Topic Island

Post written by Rick Doyle and Dave Coleman (See Relationships page for author information)

Lets Fix What is Broken

Date Smart! Chapter 3.1

Precision Tools to Identify a Terminal Date (or Lost Cause)

All 225 passengers aboard were settled comfortably for their two-hour flight. After a smooth take-off, the aircraft ascended to its cruising altitude. Thirty minutes later, the pilot spoke over the intercom with a discernible lack of confidence in his voice. He announced that “we are making great time, but we’re lost and the navigational and communication systems don’t appear to be working either.” As they prepared for emergency procedures, the pilot wondered how he’d find an airport to land safely in. Read the rest of this entry »

Post written by Rick Doyle and Dave Coleman (See Relationships page for author information)

50 Common Broken Pickers

Date Smart! Chapter 2.6

Below is a list of 50 Common ‘Broken Pickers’. Don’t be surprised to find you’ve dated more than one category type. It’s important to understand that while each broken picker is unique, many of them share qualities that are common to your patterns of behavior. We call this Brand Loyal Bad Picking, which means you repeat poor selections based upon an acquired taste or familiarity.

50 Common Broken Pickers

1.  The Panhandler:  You have a tendency to pick someone who is overly needy. They take regularly and give sparingly.

2.  The Pinocchio:  You have a tendency to pick others who have a very difficult time telling the truth.

3.  The Girdle:  You have a tendency to pick someone who strives to control you and all aspects of the relationship. Read the rest of this entry »

Post written by Rick Doyle and Dave Coleman (See Relationships page for author information)

The Relationship Readiness Questionnaire

Date Smart! Chapter 2.5

The Relationship Readiness Questionnaire

The purpose of this questionnaire is to determine to what extent you are experiencing and practicing a loving, meaningful involvement with others. The questions are multiple choice. Please choose the answer that most typically applies to you. Answer using only the letters provided below. Base your answers on your entire relationship history, since you began dating. This will provide a more accurate overview of your current condition. Answer EVERY blank using the letters below. Some questions have multiple blanks. ALL should be filled in. REMEMBER: There are no right or wrong answers. Honesty is essential. When you’ve read each question thoroughly, write your answer next to it. Relax, think, and be honest! Read the rest of this entry »

Post written by Rick Doyle and Dave Coleman (See Relationships page for author information) *Special thank you to Tom W. Lecture Colorado I.C.Y.P.A.A. 1995. Sunday Morning Spirituality Lead

The Five Rules of the World

Date Smart! Chapter 2.4

When you avoid dating for personal or social reasons, you may end up dealing with overwhelming feelings of self-doubt as you ponder what’s okay, what to do next, what’s acceptable, and how to re-enter the dating scene. You may have become so desensitized to being alone that the outside world alienates you because you lack a significant other. The world may seem to have a perfect set of rules, and any unpleasantness, pain or deviation from perceived norms are not tolerated. These feelings are what we call “The Five Rules of the World.” Read the rest of this entry »

Post written by Rick Doyle

How to Get Inside Your Lovers Head, Fast

This works on anyone’s head, not just your lover’s, and it is a very fast and fun exercise to do.  The Jahari window and the 90,000 versions of it that exist on the web are all based in some form of basic psychology.  It is not the end all to be all test, but it is designed to give you a subconscious peek and to let your lover, friend, family member, whoever takes it, gets a peek into what makes them tick too. It is a 4 question quiz that does not involve rocket science and you can NOT fail or flunk at it. Last but not least before you take it, remember it is supposed to be fun and an icebreaker not a CIA interrogation technique.  Relax, enjoy, it is really great for groups to get them comfortable and talking to each other and you.  So if you want to get inside your lovers head now, fast let’s get started! This whole quiz usually takes less than 10-15 minutes. Read the rest of this entry »

Post Written By Rick Doyle

Couples Who Work Together, Work Hard

Couples who work together work hard, then they work harder and finally if all goes well they start to work smarter.  Some things you will probably need on the way to working smarter is a helmet, ear plugs, a referee, a baby sitter, band aids and an icepack with aspirin.  It is not for the weak or faint of heart and it takes more than just a great team of two; it takes a great business idea and resources plus a tremendous amount of patience.  It is possible and can be profitable but it can also devastate a relationship before it gets anywhere near success.  Sacrifice and perseverance are not always without a huge price and some battle scars but when couples work together and make a success of their goal the wounds heal, the scars fade and the rewards of their hard work will pay off!  Couples work relationships also include non-financial jobs such as gardening projects around the house, laundry, dish washing, child rearing and anything that couples work on together as a team will, if it is done right, it will strengthen the relationship.  Money or income doesn’t have to be the end goal or objective. Read the rest of this entry »

Post written by Rick Doyle and Dave Coleman (See Relationships page for author information)

Why Attached Men Flirt, With You

Dear Rickhead: My question, or problem, is that my friends’ husbands and boyfriends keep hitting on me behind their backs.  I don’t do anything to contribute to or encourage this behavior, so why does it keep happening? 

                                               -  Miranda

Dear Miranda: First of all, the fact that these men are flirting behind their wives or girlfriend’s backs is deceitful and they must feel as if they can safely flirt with you.  Even though you assert that you are doing nothing to “encourage their behavior,” they obviously feel secure enough that you won’t tell on them.  They evidently lack any fear that you will “snitch” to their significant other or else they are so captivated with you that they simply don’t care if you do. Read the rest of this entry »

Post written by Rick Doyle and Dave Coleman (See Relationships page for author information)

Date Smarter Not Harder, A Sample 15-Minute Find

This is a preview of what is coming in Chapter 6 from our book Date Smart! Please be aware this is only a teaser and does not contain all the tools, advice or information that the book contains but will give you some idea of how we developed fast and easy techniques to help you date smarter and not over invest or work harder to make a dead end relationship try to work.  We hope to teach you to identify a bad pick within 15 minutes of a first encounter so you don’t waste weeks, months or years on a lost cause. When we understand how to date smarter instead of dating harder we start recognizing the best characteristics first and learn to weigh them against old behaviors, old attractors and unhealthy red flags or signs that a relationship pick might be a bad one far faster than in the past. We have designed skills and questions and techniques throughout Date Smart! that will teach you to look for the “right stuff” faster and leave the wrong stuff even faster. Read the rest of this entry »

Post Written by Tanya Doyle

Fresh Advice, Ways to Save Money Shopping for Household Items

With the ever worsening economy I am always looking for simple ways to save money and still stick to a budget without feeling the pinch.  I’ve put together some of the ways I manage our household expenses that alleviate some of the pressure from tightening our domestic belt. Read the rest of this entry »

Post written by Rick Doyle

Citiot Learned Hillbilly Moving from the City to the Country

I should probably start by defining the subtle and yet infinitely different distinctions between a Citiot and a Hillbilly to really characterize how my country edification came about.  It’s a vast chasm between two worlds that find almost nothing in common. I was ill prepared to learn what a culture shock it would be to move to a farm.  The rules, conventions and the subtle and not so subtle ways of conducting everything from business to pet care to parenting to schools, virtually everything I ever grew up with in the city is so drastically different in the country it is like an alien experience. I was only moving 50 miles and I experienced culture shock.  How could two communities that are only 50 miles apart be so completely different?  There was a whole new language to learn. Read the rest of this entry »